We just elected a new committee (congrats, guys!), I’m graduating (and getting a job?!?!?!), my best friend just got married (AGAIN, congrats), my church is in the middle of a transition (exciting things ahead), my sister starts university next year (YAY Ryerson!), and my grandparents will be moving to the GTA sometime in the next year (first time I’ll have near-by family in my life). A lot of these would signal the phrase “new beginnings”, but to me most of these represent the death of everything I have looked forward to, worked towards, and dreamed about my whole life. Good or bad, my life as I know it is ending. And I have no idea what is going to happen.
When was the last time you talked to a new/on fire Christian? I’m talking brand new just accepted Christ last week/just decided that they needed to live for God and change everything/on fire in that unique special way people are when they catch that vision that is Christ (I usually encounter this type of person at camp or at a baptism). They are letting the life that they used to have die, and instead embracing the new beginning that is before them. It isn’t even hard to ask themselves what they’re doing.
And yet when I see them I can’t help thinking “Do you really know what you’re getting yourself into?” I have this cynical doubt that people truly understand the suffering they’re about to feel, the struggles they’re about to go through as people lash back at the changes they’re trying to make in their lives. I wonder if they’ll hold up, or if they think it’s a magical moment that will make their lives better and less difficult.
In my life I have been so caught up in the dying of things, the change in lifestyles, friends – even the way my room is set up (not that i’m really that sad to box up the textbooks…). I’ve been dreading the upcoming changes – terrified even. What will I do? I don’t have very many aspirations and dreams past this point … I’ve pretty much arrived at the goals I’ve set. And I’m starting all these new scary things and there I am asking myself “Do you know what you’re getting yourself into?” Will it be ok or will everything fall apart? Will I have a life? Any friends at all? Will I be single forever?
But recently, I realized I’ve forgotten the most important thing. The most important thing about those new/on fire Christians. The one thing that means everything will be ok, even if it all goes up in flames.
He said, “I love you and that’s what you are getting yourself into.”
– Christy